My experience with mumps

So, what is up?

Here I am, stuck at home, together with the 2nd kid. While the rest of the fam went to church this morning and is now at a relatives' place having dinner. I have been in bed for a week now, mainly because of adult mumps and the complications I've had since I got this.

Some of you might say, "Mumps? On an adult? Whut?!" Yep, I have them. I know I didn't get them yet when I was a kid so for sure, when the youngest had them, I was next in line. She was always with me and sleeps in between I and the hubby. We cuddle, we kiss. You know the drill.

So let me tell you what has happened in the past week, aside from NOTHING.

• I have had the fever for many days now. It only goes down when I take antipyretics (Medicol and Advil) or give myself cold packs on the head and face. Since yesterday, it has gone down one notch. In fact, I was able to drive up until Greenhills earlier to get my replacement charger for this Macbook. (Ugh, I'm a few thousands poorer -- remind me!) 
• I have been feeling that my heart skips a beat or two every so often. This one I really dread, and have woken up several nights, praying to God to forgive me, claiming He'll bring me to heaven and not anywhere else if it's already time. At the back of my mind, it was all okay, except that I kinda worried for my family and my parents. They'd be really, really sad, I know. This gave me a hard time breathing, which leads me to another happening...
• I think I have asthma again. I haven't been taking my MaxGXLs for quite some time now, and especially not since I've had the mumps. So I know this was bound to happen too. Plus my immune system has been compromised.
• My pee smells funny. For the past week, this has been so. I either cough it up to the mumps, or the meds I'm taking is taking toll on my kidneys, or that my blood sugar levels may be high. 
• I get chills every time. Although I can take a bath, I still need my blanket and socks at times, even when its in the middle of the day. Without A/C.
• My back aches like there's no tomorrow. Well, in general, my whole body does. My back just became the highlight. 
• I wasn't able to eat well during the first 5 days. Now I eat better BUT I get dizzy after every meal. Weird, I know. 
• I started a journal just right before I got the mumps and haven't really written anything substantial for a few days. So much for my Bullet Journal-ing. 
• I have orders for the business that I couldn't deliver. Well, because.
• I have projects for my part time stint, and yes, I still wasn't able to deliver. 
• I had too many ideas, but then my laptop charger broke down on me, so I had to drive some 33 kilometers (to and fro) to get a replacement, which by the way, costs a fortune.

Yes, a lot has happened. I've also documented my face during this experience. Please excuse the not-prepared-for-a-photo faces. 

High fever redness

This is my ordeal. Still not completely healed as of today, but I know that in the days to come, I will be. I also wouldn't want to worry about the other things I've been feeling lately too. Nothing will harm me. My God is with me. 

Also, we received many blessings this week too. Paid bills and really high grades and honors for my children. GOD IS GOOD.

Ciao for now :) 

Raising an adolescent

This is now becoming real. A few months back, I would've told you that my eldest is still a baby. It's hard to let go especially for a mom who's had that firstborn when she just got out of being a child herself. It's like a treasured gift. Something you don't let go even when you grow up. But all good things have an end, as the song says.

December 2007

He has officially reached that gap between adulthood and childhood. That awkward phase that I almost didn't want to remember except for the fun times I had on those years. Going down memory lane now, I have had more than a fare share of silliness during these awesome-awful years. Now my first child is going through the same. I believe he's just had his first heart break. I don't mean to pry (his dad actually did), but came Valentines and end-of-school-year, he asked for presents for a certain someone. His dad told me, let be, he's a growing boy. And this may be better than having thoughts that he may be effeminate. I agreed.

Then it happened, his heart broke. For a simple comment to a picture of his gifts, his heart broke. But what came next, broke mine. This is the first time I've seen him so angry in words, and so full of hatred for someone else. What I read from posts that were screen shot (thanks to my chismoso hubby harhar), I did not expect. It saddened me. It made me feel a whole lot of guilt. Questions like, How come I did not see this coming?, Is this the same child I brought into the world and spent 12 years raising?, Was I bad that we mentioned what was in that comment?, Was I bad that I gave in to his requests on those gifts?, has been going in and out of my mind since I read those posts last night.

I am a lost mom today.

Praying for strength and for wisdom, to raise better children.

3 Day Stress-ings and Blessings

Time to recap the days that were.

Friday.
It wasn't a good day. I was starting to worry about things that concerned finances. Why you may ask, since it's only 2 days after payday? Well, simply because Ive only had one of my (two) clients pay me (actually, it was a day after). If you must know, as a mom who takes care of the household budget, our finances are scheduled and carefully allotted on our daily needs, bills and even our recreational activities. For this payday, even before the actual day came, I had counted every single peso would go somewhere. So yes, it was quite a stressful day for me.
One more thing about me : I reboot my system and purge when things start to get taxing. So that Friday night, I told the hubby I was craving for a Mint Chocolate ice cream from Caramia (yes, I soooo love Mint Chocolate ice cream!!!). And he had this idea that all of us would watch a movie. Exodus (movie review will follow). So yeah, of course I would want that. If he had suggested just about anything that would make me leave the house (working almost 20hours a day is no joke, I tell ya!), I would've gladly said yes.
Things didn't exactly end so happy that day, but I got one wish, which was to go out. And then some :)

Saturday.
I didn't go to work the night before so I had a good rest for the day's activies. Day out at S&R with the fam.
My mother-in-law asked us to accompany her and do some shopping for our monthly and Christmas supplies. I gladly obliged since it has been more than a year since I last went. Original plans were to go their BGC branch, which the hubby would have a hard time finding, since I am his GPS, if I didn't go.
There was a debate as to what S&R branch we'd go to when we boarded my hubby's uncle's new Trailblazer. As soon as we reached the highway, it was no contest that we'd go to the nearest one since traffic was piling up and it looked as if we had no choice. S&R experience post will also soon follow. All I can say is that, this was a day full of blessings. The only money I had to shell out was my renewal fee.

Sunday.
Day for the Lord.
We had to go to the mall first to have lunch (Church starts at 3PM), buy candies for the kids' Christmas party, and a cake for the birthday girl, Alyssa, my cousin-in-love.
By this time, I was definitely stressing out about my pay from my other client. I haven't received it, and the email I sent Saturday morning was only answered a day after, saying that it is top priority, but didn't have a set time or day when it will be sent. I have stuff to pay and bills are piling up. I know we have some other things we need to spend what's left of our money on. And my loan for my Macbook would need to be paid too. Ack, stress!

I am hoping for a better day tomorrow. Our househelp (she used to work for me and will work again for us now) will arrive tomorrow (hopefully), looking forward also to a stress-less work day and of course, PRAYING that I will be paid finally by tomorrow.

That was my 3-day recap. You?

Amidst the typhoon Ruby

As I write this, my family and I are watching and waiting as to what happens when the typhoon Ruby reaches Metro Manila. It's around 5:30PM and its super dark outside. Currently experiencing just some rains and a really cold weather. Yes, winds too. But so far, that's all we have. Still praying that it won't be as destructive as it's predicted to be. Here's what has been posted on Pag-Asa DOST Facebook page :

https://www.facebook.com/PAGASA.DOST.GOV.PH

Here are pictures of the street where we live : (thank you Instagram)

About 2 years ago. The help, baby T and kuya Ju.

On regular days :) 

The hubby looking onto the foggy distance

As you can see, we live on a really high area. If I can only show you what that foggy distance looks like. You'll see the mountains of Bulacan and Rizal. So we are flood free, but definitely not free from flying roofs and trees.

Still thankful that even during storms like these, I feel (my family does too) very tranquil and serene. I know that it's because we prayed for it and God knows me too much to let me worry, that he has sent his Spirit of Peace in this household. Thank You Jesus. 

This morning, I sent this bible verse to my Mom-in-law and Tita-in-law :

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Luke%208:24

This is something so powerful from the Bible especially during these times. We are reminded not to worry about things that we can't handle. Surrender them all to God. And He will take care of everything. 

So I end this post by saying.. Stay safe and dry. Pray. Be at peace. 

God bless us all!

Now is...

Today is one of those days AGAIN that I'm feeling so frustrated about how things are going for both our businesses and our family. It's not going the way I've been expecting it to be. And there are things that I've delegated to people, expecting them to finish it at a particular time, only to find out that it hasn't been even started. I know I need some quiet time. But when you're at the stage that you're building a business and building a career for your future, time is just not enough and you have no luxury to even rest. I am overwhelmed by work and house chores. It has been a few days, and yet I feel so burned out. Its probably my lack of sleep or the changes in my timezone. Is it possible to have a jetlag when you haven't even gone out of the country? I wonder.

I need rest.

I know I need some time out. As I write this, I'm imagining myself at a park, with lots of trees and plants and fresh air, doing nothing. Probably some meditating, reading the Scripture, having my one-on-one talk with God. How I would love to do just that.

I have a few projects up my sleeve now, one major is for my Manila Assistants business. I'm also waiting for another full time work by a property management client. If everything pulls through, I will be so busy, I may not even have time to blog. I'm procrastinating right now.

The hubby is feeling what I'm feeling too. So sad.

This too shall pass.

I declare it, in Jesus' name.

Waiting time

Today's one of those days when I feel so down for so many different reasons. Or it's probably just the hormones acting up. I don't exactly know.

The hubby is today's victim, sadly. As with any other time that I've acted the same way, it's almost always the husband who takes the punch. I'm assuming its because my recent issues have somehow been connected with what happened with us last year. All's been well for many months now, and I've seen how the hubby tries his best to win me over...and over...and over. It's the little reminders that gets to me though. Bits and pieces of anything that would let me remember how it was during that time. What I felt, and how he must've felt. It still makes me cry thinking about it.

It was a roller coaster of emotions, what happened to me. And I can feel remnants of it until now.

Recently, I've been trying to revive an old job, my being a VA. Taking it all in, training myself through videos, ebooks, just about anything. I want to keep myself busy. If that's what it takes to make me forget.

This is my "idle season". And until things get busy again, I would want to wait patiently. I want to spend my days with worship and scripture.

1 Samuel 13:8-14

He waited seven days, the time set by Samuel; but Samuel did not come to Gilgal, and Saul's men began to scatter.  So he said, "Bring me the burnt offering and the fellowship offerings. " And Saul offered up the burnt offering.  Just as he finished making the offering, Samuel arrived, and Saul went out to greet him.  "What have you done?" asked Samuel. Saul replied, "When I saw that the men were scattering, and that you did not come at the set time, and that the Philistines were assembling at Micmash,  I thought, 'Now the Philistines will come down against me at Gilgal, and I have not sought the LORD's favor.' So I felt compelled to offer the burnt offering."  "You acted foolishly," Samuel said. "You have not kept the command the LORD your God gave you; if you had, he would have established your kingdom over Israel for all time.  But now your kingdom will not endure; the LORD has sought out a man after his own heart and appointed him leader of his people, because you have not kept the LORD's command."

I pray Lord that I will have more patience. Patience to wait for Your promises. Help me to always remember that Your Word is always constant and will never change. Thank You for Your blessings. In Jesus' mighty name. Amen. 



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Overwhelmed and anxious

Overwhelmed 

 - bury or drown beneath a huge mass

Anxious

 - experiencing worry, unease, or nervousness, typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome

These are 2 words which I definitely have been feeling the past months. Mostly, because of how the hubby and I can provide for our family. Yes, we are blessed and we have enough. We eat 3-5 (or maybe even 6!) times a day. We have enough to come to church every Sunday, and sometimes even have enough to have lunch out. So what exactly am I bugged about? Well, here's my list:

Our mountain pile of bills, all named after ME! 

Our 3 kids' future (school, needs, etc.)

Our travel plans (and date plans for hubby and I

No, I don't ask for much. And sometimes I even say, I don't want much. Why? Because I feel that I am not responsible enough for bigger things. I want to be, don't think otherwise, but I want to prepare myself before I am given much. (In the past, I feel that when I am given small or big things, I can honestly say, I have not been faithful to see it all through for what they are given for. So when that day comes that I am able to handle money and resources well, then I will definitely ask for more from Him, who is my ultimate source. 

The hubby and I recently started a small business (JuiceLuvPH), and when at first it seemed all promising, the past weeks have not been kind to us. So we're back to square one. I don't want to feel too depressed since as I have said, we are not THAT unfortunate. When I really think about it, I am still TOO BLESSED to be stressed (Yes, yes, I intended to write that). 

So what now? An opportunity knocks at our door. Another VA stint (in case you didn't know, I was a VA.. for about 8 years) that would need my nights. It's not much, won't pay much, but it may as well ease my anxiety and that feeling of being overwhelmed. It would definitely pay some of the bills and we may save up for a bit of the kids' future. Most of all, I can now be faithful to my tithing again. 

I'm also still looking for other opportunities, small ones, so I can pass it on to my freelance "partner". I've recently activated my sleeping Fiverr account for those small stints. 

I have so many ideas, that I want to pursue and accomplish. That's how this mind works. If I can only jot them down every time, I know I have that eureka moment or moments!

Amidst all the anxiety and overwhelmed-ness, here are some bible verses that may as well help me and YOU dear reader, whatever your situation is, or wherever you may be :

Matthew 6:25-34

"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes?  Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?  Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life ?  "And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin.  Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these.  If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?  So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?'  For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them.  But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.  Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Luke 12:24-34

Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds!  Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life ?  Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?  "Consider how the lilies grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you, not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these.  If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today, and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, how much more will he clothe you, O you of little faith!  And do not set your heart on what you will eat or drink; do not worry about it.  For the pagan world runs after all such things, and your Father knows that you need them.  But seek his kingdom, and these things will be given to you as well.  "Do not be afraid, little flock, for your Father has been pleased to give you the kingdom.  Sell your possessions and give to the poor. Provide purses for yourselves that will not wear out, a treasure in heaven that will not be exhausted, where no thief comes near and no moth destroys.  For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

Matthew 11:28-30

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

and this...

Luke 12:48 But the one who does not know and does things deserving punishment will be beaten with few blows. From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked.

I hope this post helped anyone, whether it may be spiritual, emotional or even just for entertainment. 

God bless you! Jesus loves you!

Remembering and praying

Currently reading Chicken Soup for the Couples' Soul, and yes I remembered what my husband and I have gone through for the past 13 years. We had painful memories, that only God can heal, but we had so much love for each other that it was evident in our whole relationship, that serving each other was one of our priorities. Whether it may be a big, bold act or a teeny tiny one that only true love can notice. 

I miss the hubby. He's out for an employment requirement. This morning, I told him to pray for things like these. For decisions, especially big ones, we he has to make. As this will definitely affect, good or bad, our life, both ours and and our family. I have asked God for guidance, but ultimately, its His will we ought to follow. 

A lot like Christmas

Last Saturday, the kids and I got an iPad2 as our 2nd Christmas gift for ourselves. I say 2nd because we purchased an LED TV two weeks prior.

These are the pics taken by my uber adorable children!

Love!

Planning a Party : HARD!

This is not my first time to plan a party. I have actually been told I was a born organizer since I was in highschool, planning our soirees and my own debut. I've also had 2 boys, to which I am the sole organizer for all their parties. But I can truthfully say that my daughter's first birthday and the 3 kids' dedication is by far the hardest. It's like playing event organizer to a really hard-to-please client and not getting paid for it. Sigh.

What were my preps?

1. Caterer

2. Photo/Video

3. Venue

4. Motif

5. Giveaways/Souvenirs

6. Outfits

7. Entertainment

8. Food cart

9. Booths

and a lot more (small but) intricate details which are necessary to make this event successful.

And as I have mentioned, I have a hard-to-please-fickleminded client. So help me, God! :)

Here is a pic of our venue : (of which I'm actually quite proud of)

Psalm 27

Psalm 27

New International Version (NIV)

¹ The LORD is my light and my salvation—

whom shall I fear?
The LORD is the stronghold of my life—
of whom shall I be afraid?

² When the wicked advance against me
to devour me,
it is my enemies and my foes
who will stumble and fall.
³ Though an army besiege me,
my heart will not fear;
though war break out against me,
even then I will be confident.

⁴ One thing I ask from the LORD,
this only do I seek:
that I may dwell in the house of the LORD
all the days of my life,
to gaze on the beauty of the LORD
and to seek him in his temple.
⁵ For in the day of trouble
he will keep me safe in his dwelling;
he will hide me in the shelter of his sacred tent
and set me high upon a rock.

⁶ Then my head will be exalted
above the enemies who surround me;
at his sacred tent I will sacrifice with shouts of joy;
I will sing and make music to the LORD.

⁷ Hear my voice when I call, LORD;
be merciful to me and answer me.
⁸ My heart says of you, “Seek his face!”
Your face, LORD, I will seek.
⁹ Do not hide your face from me,
do not turn your servant away in anger;
you have been my helper.
Do not reject me or forsake me,
God my Savior.
¹⁰ Though my father and mother forsake me,
the LORD will receive me.
¹¹ Teach me your way, LORD;
lead me in a straight path
because of my oppressors.
¹² Do not turn me over to the desire of my foes,
for false witnesses rise up against me,
spouting malicious accusations.

¹³ I remain confident of this:
I will see the goodness of the LORD
in the land of the living.
¹⁴ Wait for the LORD;
be strong and take heart
and wait for the LORD.

Gummy worm

I worry about my second child. He doesn't live with me right now because of certain circumstances that is currently out of my hand.

He was in the hospital last week, for a viral infection that made him vomit everything he took in. I was super worried. Considering that days and weeks before that, I was telling the hubby about his obvious fall on weight and his changing attitude. I have cried nights. But I'm putting my full trust in my husband on what he said. That it will all soon be okay.

I miss my gummy worm. :(

I talk of forgiveness

Last year was truly a humbling experience for me and my family. I have always believed that it was God's way of telling me that I am only human and that I need Him, my family, my friends and yes, even (I say this with truth in my heart) my enemies.

Healing is a process. Forgiveness is a process. I am on that process. I have forgiven but probably not forgotten. And I am praying that I too, will forget. As these memories have been the stake that crushes my heart and soul. Although I can truly say that I am 80% at peace. There are days when I hear about things that I don't like and definitely do not understand why they were even said, and I still get hurt. I pray that God would give me the strength to surpass all these trials. And that God would bless my enemies' soul so they may find peace in their hearts and be content with what they have and be happy for others too.

I've just read from Bo Sanchez's Soulfood, that I am allowed to be hurt and be angry. Because I am only human. To restore my dignity. And become a part of my healing.

Don’t Rush To Forgive If The Wound Is Grave

When the hurt is very deep, don’t forgive right away.

I am progressing but I cannot say that I have been healed totally. I still hurt. But I am better now. I feel better, I see better, I decide and choose better. I thank God for giving me this grace. And for giving me my support group (most especially my husband).

I know I will soon be healed. I will be stronger and better.

Thank you Hubby!

This post is dedicated to my wonderful husband, who's celebrating his 32nd birthday this Friday, July 8, and whom we dearly miss. He's abroad working, to bring food to our table.

I have always thought of going back to work. I still actually have that feeling of my need for work. But I am THANKFUL that my husband is as responsible as he is and is doing his best to provide for us. I seriously don't have to work. We have enough. Not much, just enough. And I am blessed to be able to spend my days and nights with my babies. And no matter how much I go crazy at times because I miss the hubby so much, I am still at that state where I'm content and happy.

I love you By! I'll forever be grateful for what you have given us.. me..

Happy 32nd birthday!

"Here Without You"

A hundred days have made me older
Since the last time that I saw your pretty face
A thousand lies have made me colder
And I don't think I can look at this the same
But all the miles that separate
Disappear now when I'm dreaming of your face

I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
And I dream about you all the time
I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight it's only you and me

The miles just keep rollin'
As the people leave their way to say hello
I've heard this life is overrated
But I hope that it gets better as we go

I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
And I dream about you all the time
I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight girl its only you and me

Everything I know, and anywhere I go
It gets hard but it wont take away my love
And when the last one falls
When it's all said and done
It gets hard but it wont take away my love

I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
And I dream about you all the time
I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight girl its only you and me

Today's Gospel

I got this email because I'm subscribed to Bo Sanchez's website :

ANYTHING BUT THAT

“But I say to you, love your enemies, and pray for those who persecute you…” – Matthew 5:44

I was very angry with somebody. No… the word angry is mild. I was livid.

I had a mixture of emotions about something that transpired, and my human instinct told me that I needed to strike back to defend myself. But it was something I knew I didn’t want to do. Instead, I lashed out at another person involved and said all the hurtful words I could say. The sleeping monster inside me awoke.

I carried this anger in my heart for many years. And each time I came across the chosen verse above, I would always cringe. Love my enemies? Pray for those who persecute me?... “Lord! Please make me do anything but that!”

To this day that remains a tall order for me. It is not easy. I prayed for the blessing of time, believing that it heals all wounds, and that in God’s perfect time the anger in my heart will fade.

True enough, the time came. It felt as if a big thorn in my heart was pulled out. Only then did I actually know what it’s like to forgive — the peace of Christ enveloped me and renewed my spirit.

May His peace fill your heart every day. Nova Arias (nova.svp@gmail.com)

14

REFLECTION:

Was there ever a time when you loved your enemy? If you managed to do it once, you can do it over and over again.

Grant me a change of heart, O Lord

This struck me hard as it was so close to what I felt recently. Very similar. And I am very thankful that I have been free from this tragedy. Now, although I may still hold grudge on some people, the feeling is not as bad as it was last year. The cliche goes that, time heals all wounds, and I know it would. God has never given up on me and never left me. Who would've thought I would come to a point where I am deeply humbled by my experiences and it has taught me a lot about myself and others. I continue to pray that I will always be reminded of how lucky I am to have been forgiven and receive forgiveness.

What I have now...

Got a mail regarding a comment in one of my old blogs. So I started to read. I was a really unhappy, depressed, whiny woman! That was 5 years ago. I think I still am, though, but in a mature kinda way (that, I'd like to think!).

I was really sad. I can't help but pity the person I was. I was constantly looking for things from different areas in my life. I only had 1 child then. Maybe the kids brought more "life" to me, more optimism. Come to think of it, I think I have more patience, more time, more humility, more "ground".. I'm more like what I need to be.

I guess it was the pressure. It was the environment, the people around me. Actually, things started to get really bad after that. Then it was okay again. Then bad again. Okay, bad, okay, bad. It's okay now though. And I seriously hope it stays this way. Although there are missing "parts" of me now (hubby being away and all), I still consider this time as one of the "better" days.

See yah.

What made me smile today

This was today's pic. The youngest (my baby girl), Tanya, was fighting with his Kuya Juju, and was trying to get his notebook. She was tapping furiously at the keys, so Kuya was getting mad. the little girl, also got mad, and shouted. LOL. Happy days.