Thursday, March 23, 2023

Anxious about anxiety


 As much as I don't want to admit it (and too embarrassed too), I think I am silently (or not) battling anxiety. 


I prefer to either work too much or sleep. I hoard stuff, most I don't need. I think too much. I sleep early (which I think is a side effect of my recent high blood sugar levels), but wake up every now and then. I need melatonin tabs to help me get by a full night's rest. 


I want to go out, but most of the time I feel like I can't go alone. I get easily offended by little things, but when I decide to not care, I offend others. 


I'm a lonely girl but I feel I don't deserve to feel this. I am blessed, in so many things that I think I shouldn't even feel this. I question myself many times. And when it gets validated (that I'm not worthy), I feel sadder. 


Have I lost faith? Am I losing it? What is this?