3 Day Stress-ings and Blessings

Time to recap the days that were.

Friday.
It wasn't a good day. I was starting to worry about things that concerned finances. Why you may ask, since it's only 2 days after payday? Well, simply because Ive only had one of my (two) clients pay me (actually, it was a day after). If you must know, as a mom who takes care of the household budget, our finances are scheduled and carefully allotted on our daily needs, bills and even our recreational activities. For this payday, even before the actual day came, I had counted every single peso would go somewhere. So yes, it was quite a stressful day for me.
One more thing about me : I reboot my system and purge when things start to get taxing. So that Friday night, I told the hubby I was craving for a Mint Chocolate ice cream from Caramia (yes, I soooo love Mint Chocolate ice cream!!!). And he had this idea that all of us would watch a movie. Exodus (movie review will follow). So yeah, of course I would want that. If he had suggested just about anything that would make me leave the house (working almost 20hours a day is no joke, I tell ya!), I would've gladly said yes.
Things didn't exactly end so happy that day, but I got one wish, which was to go out. And then some :)

Saturday.
I didn't go to work the night before so I had a good rest for the day's activies. Day out at S&R with the fam.
My mother-in-law asked us to accompany her and do some shopping for our monthly and Christmas supplies. I gladly obliged since it has been more than a year since I last went. Original plans were to go their BGC branch, which the hubby would have a hard time finding, since I am his GPS, if I didn't go.
There was a debate as to what S&R branch we'd go to when we boarded my hubby's uncle's new Trailblazer. As soon as we reached the highway, it was no contest that we'd go to the nearest one since traffic was piling up and it looked as if we had no choice. S&R experience post will also soon follow. All I can say is that, this was a day full of blessings. The only money I had to shell out was my renewal fee.

Sunday.
Day for the Lord.
We had to go to the mall first to have lunch (Church starts at 3PM), buy candies for the kids' Christmas party, and a cake for the birthday girl, Alyssa, my cousin-in-love.
By this time, I was definitely stressing out about my pay from my other client. I haven't received it, and the email I sent Saturday morning was only answered a day after, saying that it is top priority, but didn't have a set time or day when it will be sent. I have stuff to pay and bills are piling up. I know we have some other things we need to spend what's left of our money on. And my loan for my Macbook would need to be paid too. Ack, stress!

I am hoping for a better day tomorrow. Our househelp (she used to work for me and will work again for us now) will arrive tomorrow (hopefully), looking forward also to a stress-less work day and of course, PRAYING that I will be paid finally by tomorrow.

That was my 3-day recap. You?

Now is...

Today is one of those days AGAIN that I'm feeling so frustrated about how things are going for both our businesses and our family. It's not going the way I've been expecting it to be. And there are things that I've delegated to people, expecting them to finish it at a particular time, only to find out that it hasn't been even started. I know I need some quiet time. But when you're at the stage that you're building a business and building a career for your future, time is just not enough and you have no luxury to even rest. I am overwhelmed by work and house chores. It has been a few days, and yet I feel so burned out. Its probably my lack of sleep or the changes in my timezone. Is it possible to have a jetlag when you haven't even gone out of the country? I wonder.

I need rest.

I know I need some time out. As I write this, I'm imagining myself at a park, with lots of trees and plants and fresh air, doing nothing. Probably some meditating, reading the Scripture, having my one-on-one talk with God. How I would love to do just that.

I have a few projects up my sleeve now, one major is for my Manila Assistants business. I'm also waiting for another full time work by a property management client. If everything pulls through, I will be so busy, I may not even have time to blog. I'm procrastinating right now.

The hubby is feeling what I'm feeling too. So sad.

This too shall pass.

I declare it, in Jesus' name.

Waiting time

Today's one of those days when I feel so down for so many different reasons. Or it's probably just the hormones acting up. I don't exactly know.

The hubby is today's victim, sadly. As with any other time that I've acted the same way, it's almost always the husband who takes the punch. I'm assuming its because my recent issues have somehow been connected with what happened with us last year. All's been well for many months now, and I've seen how the hubby tries his best to win me over...and over...and over. It's the little reminders that gets to me though. Bits and pieces of anything that would let me remember how it was during that time. What I felt, and how he must've felt. It still makes me cry thinking about it.

It was a roller coaster of emotions, what happened to me. And I can feel remnants of it until now.

Recently, I've been trying to revive an old job, my being a VA. Taking it all in, training myself through videos, ebooks, just about anything. I want to keep myself busy. If that's what it takes to make me forget.

This is my "idle season". And until things get busy again, I would want to wait patiently. I want to spend my days with worship and scripture.

1 Samuel 13:8-14

He waited seven days, the time set by Samuel; but Samuel did not come to Gilgal, and Saul's men began to scatter.  So he said, "Bring me the burnt offering and the fellowship offerings. " And Saul offered up the burnt offering.  Just as he finished making the offering, Samuel arrived, and Saul went out to greet him.  "What have you done?" asked Samuel. Saul replied, "When I saw that the men were scattering, and that you did not come at the set time, and that the Philistines were assembling at Micmash,  I thought, 'Now the Philistines will come down against me at Gilgal, and I have not sought the LORD's favor.' So I felt compelled to offer the burnt offering."  "You acted foolishly," Samuel said. "You have not kept the command the LORD your God gave you; if you had, he would have established your kingdom over Israel for all time.  But now your kingdom will not endure; the LORD has sought out a man after his own heart and appointed him leader of his people, because you have not kept the LORD's command."

I pray Lord that I will have more patience. Patience to wait for Your promises. Help me to always remember that Your Word is always constant and will never change. Thank You for Your blessings. In Jesus' mighty name. Amen. 



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Planning a Party : HARD!

This is not my first time to plan a party. I have actually been told I was a born organizer since I was in highschool, planning our soirees and my own debut. I've also had 2 boys, to which I am the sole organizer for all their parties. But I can truthfully say that my daughter's first birthday and the 3 kids' dedication is by far the hardest. It's like playing event organizer to a really hard-to-please client and not getting paid for it. Sigh.

What were my preps?

1. Caterer

2. Photo/Video

3. Venue

4. Motif

5. Giveaways/Souvenirs

6. Outfits

7. Entertainment

8. Food cart

9. Booths

and a lot more (small but) intricate details which are necessary to make this event successful.

And as I have mentioned, I have a hard-to-please-fickleminded client. So help me, God! :)

Here is a pic of our venue : (of which I'm actually quite proud of)

Psalm 27

Psalm 27

New International Version (NIV)

¹ The LORD is my light and my salvation—

whom shall I fear?
The LORD is the stronghold of my life—
of whom shall I be afraid?

² When the wicked advance against me
to devour me,
it is my enemies and my foes
who will stumble and fall.
³ Though an army besiege me,
my heart will not fear;
though war break out against me,
even then I will be confident.

⁴ One thing I ask from the LORD,
this only do I seek:
that I may dwell in the house of the LORD
all the days of my life,
to gaze on the beauty of the LORD
and to seek him in his temple.
⁵ For in the day of trouble
he will keep me safe in his dwelling;
he will hide me in the shelter of his sacred tent
and set me high upon a rock.

⁶ Then my head will be exalted
above the enemies who surround me;
at his sacred tent I will sacrifice with shouts of joy;
I will sing and make music to the LORD.

⁷ Hear my voice when I call, LORD;
be merciful to me and answer me.
⁸ My heart says of you, “Seek his face!”
Your face, LORD, I will seek.
⁹ Do not hide your face from me,
do not turn your servant away in anger;
you have been my helper.
Do not reject me or forsake me,
God my Savior.
¹⁰ Though my father and mother forsake me,
the LORD will receive me.
¹¹ Teach me your way, LORD;
lead me in a straight path
because of my oppressors.
¹² Do not turn me over to the desire of my foes,
for false witnesses rise up against me,
spouting malicious accusations.

¹³ I remain confident of this:
I will see the goodness of the LORD
in the land of the living.
¹⁴ Wait for the LORD;
be strong and take heart
and wait for the LORD.

Gummy worm

I worry about my second child. He doesn't live with me right now because of certain circumstances that is currently out of my hand.

He was in the hospital last week, for a viral infection that made him vomit everything he took in. I was super worried. Considering that days and weeks before that, I was telling the hubby about his obvious fall on weight and his changing attitude. I have cried nights. But I'm putting my full trust in my husband on what he said. That it will all soon be okay.

I miss my gummy worm. :(

I miss you...

I talk of forgiveness

Last year was truly a humbling experience for me and my family. I have always believed that it was God's way of telling me that I am only human and that I need Him, my family, my friends and yes, even (I say this with truth in my heart) my enemies.

Healing is a process. Forgiveness is a process. I am on that process. I have forgiven but probably not forgotten. And I am praying that I too, will forget. As these memories have been the stake that crushes my heart and soul. Although I can truly say that I am 80% at peace. There are days when I hear about things that I don't like and definitely do not understand why they were even said, and I still get hurt. I pray that God would give me the strength to surpass all these trials. And that God would bless my enemies' soul so they may find peace in their hearts and be content with what they have and be happy for others too.

I've just read from Bo Sanchez's Soulfood, that I am allowed to be hurt and be angry. Because I am only human. To restore my dignity. And become a part of my healing.

Don’t Rush To Forgive If The Wound Is Grave

When the hurt is very deep, don’t forgive right away.

I am progressing but I cannot say that I have been healed totally. I still hurt. But I am better now. I feel better, I see better, I decide and choose better. I thank God for giving me this grace. And for giving me my support group (most especially my husband).

I know I will soon be healed. I will be stronger and better.

What I have now...

Got a mail regarding a comment in one of my old blogs. So I started to read. I was a really unhappy, depressed, whiny woman! That was 5 years ago. I think I still am, though, but in a mature kinda way (that, I'd like to think!).

I was really sad. I can't help but pity the person I was. I was constantly looking for things from different areas in my life. I only had 1 child then. Maybe the kids brought more "life" to me, more optimism. Come to think of it, I think I have more patience, more time, more humility, more "ground".. I'm more like what I need to be.

I guess it was the pressure. It was the environment, the people around me. Actually, things started to get really bad after that. Then it was okay again. Then bad again. Okay, bad, okay, bad. It's okay now though. And I seriously hope it stays this way. Although there are missing "parts" of me now (hubby being away and all), I still consider this time as one of the "better" days.

See yah.