Overwhelmed and anxious

Overwhelmed 

 - bury or drown beneath a huge mass

Anxious

 - experiencing worry, unease, or nervousness, typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome

These are 2 words which I definitely have been feeling the past months. Mostly, because of how the hubby and I can provide for our family. Yes, we are blessed and we have enough. We eat 3-5 (or maybe even 6!) times a day. We have enough to come to church every Sunday, and sometimes even have enough to have lunch out. So what exactly am I bugged about? Well, here's my list:

Our mountain pile of bills, all named after ME! 

Our 3 kids' future (school, needs, etc.)

Our travel plans (and date plans for hubby and I

No, I don't ask for much. And sometimes I even say, I don't want much. Why? Because I feel that I am not responsible enough for bigger things. I want to be, don't think otherwise, but I want to prepare myself before I am given much. (In the past, I feel that when I am given small or big things, I can honestly say, I have not been faithful to see it all through for what they are given for. So when that day comes that I am able to handle money and resources well, then I will definitely ask for more from Him, who is my ultimate source. 

The hubby and I recently started a small business (JuiceLuvPH), and when at first it seemed all promising, the past weeks have not been kind to us. So we're back to square one. I don't want to feel too depressed since as I have said, we are not THAT unfortunate. When I really think about it, I am still TOO BLESSED to be stressed (Yes, yes, I intended to write that). 

So what now? An opportunity knocks at our door. Another VA stint (in case you didn't know, I was a VA.. for about 8 years) that would need my nights. It's not much, won't pay much, but it may as well ease my anxiety and that feeling of being overwhelmed. It would definitely pay some of the bills and we may save up for a bit of the kids' future. Most of all, I can now be faithful to my tithing again. 

I'm also still looking for other opportunities, small ones, so I can pass it on to my freelance "partner". I've recently activated my sleeping Fiverr account for those small stints. 

I have so many ideas, that I want to pursue and accomplish. That's how this mind works. If I can only jot them down every time, I know I have that eureka moment or moments!

Amidst all the anxiety and overwhelmed-ness, here are some bible verses that may as well help me and YOU dear reader, whatever your situation is, or wherever you may be :

Matthew 6:25-34

"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes?  Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?  Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life ?  "And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin.  Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these.  If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?  So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?'  For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them.  But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.  Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Luke 12:24-34

Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds!  Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life ?  Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?  "Consider how the lilies grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you, not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these.  If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today, and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, how much more will he clothe you, O you of little faith!  And do not set your heart on what you will eat or drink; do not worry about it.  For the pagan world runs after all such things, and your Father knows that you need them.  But seek his kingdom, and these things will be given to you as well.  "Do not be afraid, little flock, for your Father has been pleased to give you the kingdom.  Sell your possessions and give to the poor. Provide purses for yourselves that will not wear out, a treasure in heaven that will not be exhausted, where no thief comes near and no moth destroys.  For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

Matthew 11:28-30

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

and this...

Luke 12:48 But the one who does not know and does things deserving punishment will be beaten with few blows. From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked.

I hope this post helped anyone, whether it may be spiritual, emotional or even just for entertainment. 

God bless you! Jesus loves you!

Job. Quit. Job.

Last week was pretty challenging for me. I almost quit. My job, that is.

It has been an ongoing battle for me. I have a very moody boss, who, if I choose to understand, is the way he is because of his responsibilities. It should not be the case, but that's the way it is. It was a fight or flight.

There was one instance where he was giving me feedback and using such harsh words. No, he didn't use curse words but he might as well have. I was working very hard. Even after hours (which I realize now that I shouldn't be doing - another post on work ethics and personal space). But after I heard his feedback, it was like all my work went down the drain. I was frustrated, disappointed and disheartened. Then finally I decided. I messaged my boss and told him that I'd quit. Thanking him for the opportunity yada yada yada. All these, while crying.

First he said okay, then probably changed his mind and said that he still encourages me to stay. In a way, he apologized. And gave me time to think.

I thought about it and weighed my options. I had other available work waiting for me, but you see, its very hard for me to "move on" when I've finally made my way through a job. So after all the debate with myself, I chose to stay. I'm still hoping that this is the better choice.

Praying, by the way, is a constant during these times. This is my ultimate shield. Against everything else, including myself. Thank You God!

Oh hi blog! Great to see yah!

I know, i know. I have been on a fairly long vacation and haven't written since i-dont-know-when. A lot has happened actually, so I didnt have the time to really sit and blog about it. So far, most of what happened the past few months have been really great and things to be thankful for.
I got to see the hubby last month, which was really exciting for me. Not all that i wished to happen, happened. But it was fruitful nonetheless. I WAS with my husband, what else could I wish for?
We bought a new car, which again, is another exciting (but laborious) thing. I got in and out of a cool job. Planning now to revive our food business, but still in the works. Though I'm feeling that I am being called for something else. Something exciting. I'll tell you in the blogs to come. (crossing fingers ^_^)

Planning a Party : HARD!

This is not my first time to plan a party. I have actually been told I was a born organizer since I was in highschool, planning our soirees and my own debut. I've also had 2 boys, to which I am the sole organizer for all their parties. But I can truthfully say that my daughter's first birthday and the 3 kids' dedication is by far the hardest. It's like playing event organizer to a really hard-to-please client and not getting paid for it. Sigh.

What were my preps?

1. Caterer

2. Photo/Video

3. Venue

4. Motif

5. Giveaways/Souvenirs

6. Outfits

7. Entertainment

8. Food cart

9. Booths

and a lot more (small but) intricate details which are necessary to make this event successful.

And as I have mentioned, I have a hard-to-please-fickleminded client. So help me, God! :)

Here is a pic of our venue : (of which I'm actually quite proud of)

Psalm 27

Psalm 27

New International Version (NIV)

¹ The LORD is my light and my salvation—

whom shall I fear?
The LORD is the stronghold of my life—
of whom shall I be afraid?

² When the wicked advance against me
to devour me,
it is my enemies and my foes
who will stumble and fall.
³ Though an army besiege me,
my heart will not fear;
though war break out against me,
even then I will be confident.

⁴ One thing I ask from the LORD,
this only do I seek:
that I may dwell in the house of the LORD
all the days of my life,
to gaze on the beauty of the LORD
and to seek him in his temple.
⁵ For in the day of trouble
he will keep me safe in his dwelling;
he will hide me in the shelter of his sacred tent
and set me high upon a rock.

⁶ Then my head will be exalted
above the enemies who surround me;
at his sacred tent I will sacrifice with shouts of joy;
I will sing and make music to the LORD.

⁷ Hear my voice when I call, LORD;
be merciful to me and answer me.
⁸ My heart says of you, “Seek his face!”
Your face, LORD, I will seek.
⁹ Do not hide your face from me,
do not turn your servant away in anger;
you have been my helper.
Do not reject me or forsake me,
God my Savior.
¹⁰ Though my father and mother forsake me,
the LORD will receive me.
¹¹ Teach me your way, LORD;
lead me in a straight path
because of my oppressors.
¹² Do not turn me over to the desire of my foes,
for false witnesses rise up against me,
spouting malicious accusations.

¹³ I remain confident of this:
I will see the goodness of the LORD
in the land of the living.
¹⁴ Wait for the LORD;
be strong and take heart
and wait for the LORD.

Today's Gospel

I got this email because I'm subscribed to Bo Sanchez's website :

ANYTHING BUT THAT

“But I say to you, love your enemies, and pray for those who persecute you…” – Matthew 5:44

I was very angry with somebody. No… the word angry is mild. I was livid.

I had a mixture of emotions about something that transpired, and my human instinct told me that I needed to strike back to defend myself. But it was something I knew I didn’t want to do. Instead, I lashed out at another person involved and said all the hurtful words I could say. The sleeping monster inside me awoke.

I carried this anger in my heart for many years. And each time I came across the chosen verse above, I would always cringe. Love my enemies? Pray for those who persecute me?... “Lord! Please make me do anything but that!”

To this day that remains a tall order for me. It is not easy. I prayed for the blessing of time, believing that it heals all wounds, and that in God’s perfect time the anger in my heart will fade.

True enough, the time came. It felt as if a big thorn in my heart was pulled out. Only then did I actually know what it’s like to forgive — the peace of Christ enveloped me and renewed my spirit.

May His peace fill your heart every day. Nova Arias (nova.svp@gmail.com)

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REFLECTION:

Was there ever a time when you loved your enemy? If you managed to do it once, you can do it over and over again.

Grant me a change of heart, O Lord

This struck me hard as it was so close to what I felt recently. Very similar. And I am very thankful that I have been free from this tragedy. Now, although I may still hold grudge on some people, the feeling is not as bad as it was last year. The cliche goes that, time heals all wounds, and I know it would. God has never given up on me and never left me. Who would've thought I would come to a point where I am deeply humbled by my experiences and it has taught me a lot about myself and others. I continue to pray that I will always be reminded of how lucky I am to have been forgiven and receive forgiveness.