My experience with mumps

So, what is up?

Here I am, stuck at home, together with the 2nd kid. While the rest of the fam went to church this morning and is now at a relatives' place having dinner. I have been in bed for a week now, mainly because of adult mumps and the complications I've had since I got this.

Some of you might say, "Mumps? On an adult? Whut?!" Yep, I have them. I know I didn't get them yet when I was a kid so for sure, when the youngest had them, I was next in line. She was always with me and sleeps in between I and the hubby. We cuddle, we kiss. You know the drill.

So let me tell you what has happened in the past week, aside from NOTHING.

• I have had the fever for many days now. It only goes down when I take antipyretics (Medicol and Advil) or give myself cold packs on the head and face. Since yesterday, it has gone down one notch. In fact, I was able to drive up until Greenhills earlier to get my replacement charger for this Macbook. (Ugh, I'm a few thousands poorer -- remind me!) 
• I have been feeling that my heart skips a beat or two every so often. This one I really dread, and have woken up several nights, praying to God to forgive me, claiming He'll bring me to heaven and not anywhere else if it's already time. At the back of my mind, it was all okay, except that I kinda worried for my family and my parents. They'd be really, really sad, I know. This gave me a hard time breathing, which leads me to another happening...
• I think I have asthma again. I haven't been taking my MaxGXLs for quite some time now, and especially not since I've had the mumps. So I know this was bound to happen too. Plus my immune system has been compromised.
• My pee smells funny. For the past week, this has been so. I either cough it up to the mumps, or the meds I'm taking is taking toll on my kidneys, or that my blood sugar levels may be high. 
• I get chills every time. Although I can take a bath, I still need my blanket and socks at times, even when its in the middle of the day. Without A/C.
• My back aches like there's no tomorrow. Well, in general, my whole body does. My back just became the highlight. 
• I wasn't able to eat well during the first 5 days. Now I eat better BUT I get dizzy after every meal. Weird, I know. 
• I started a journal just right before I got the mumps and haven't really written anything substantial for a few days. So much for my Bullet Journal-ing. 
• I have orders for the business that I couldn't deliver. Well, because.
• I have projects for my part time stint, and yes, I still wasn't able to deliver. 
• I had too many ideas, but then my laptop charger broke down on me, so I had to drive some 33 kilometers (to and fro) to get a replacement, which by the way, costs a fortune.

Yes, a lot has happened. I've also documented my face during this experience. Please excuse the not-prepared-for-a-photo faces. 

High fever redness

This is my ordeal. Still not completely healed as of today, but I know that in the days to come, I will be. I also wouldn't want to worry about the other things I've been feeling lately too. Nothing will harm me. My God is with me. 

Also, we received many blessings this week too. Paid bills and really high grades and honors for my children. GOD IS GOOD.

Ciao for now :) 

Raising an adolescent

This is now becoming real. A few months back, I would've told you that my eldest is still a baby. It's hard to let go especially for a mom who's had that firstborn when she just got out of being a child herself. It's like a treasured gift. Something you don't let go even when you grow up. But all good things have an end, as the song says.

December 2007

He has officially reached that gap between adulthood and childhood. That awkward phase that I almost didn't want to remember except for the fun times I had on those years. Going down memory lane now, I have had more than a fare share of silliness during these awesome-awful years. Now my first child is going through the same. I believe he's just had his first heart break. I don't mean to pry (his dad actually did), but came Valentines and end-of-school-year, he asked for presents for a certain someone. His dad told me, let be, he's a growing boy. And this may be better than having thoughts that he may be effeminate. I agreed.

Then it happened, his heart broke. For a simple comment to a picture of his gifts, his heart broke. But what came next, broke mine. This is the first time I've seen him so angry in words, and so full of hatred for someone else. What I read from posts that were screen shot (thanks to my chismoso hubby harhar), I did not expect. It saddened me. It made me feel a whole lot of guilt. Questions like, How come I did not see this coming?, Is this the same child I brought into the world and spent 12 years raising?, Was I bad that we mentioned what was in that comment?, Was I bad that I gave in to his requests on those gifts?, has been going in and out of my mind since I read those posts last night.

I am a lost mom today.

Praying for strength and for wisdom, to raise better children.

Waiting time

Today's one of those days when I feel so down for so many different reasons. Or it's probably just the hormones acting up. I don't exactly know.

The hubby is today's victim, sadly. As with any other time that I've acted the same way, it's almost always the husband who takes the punch. I'm assuming its because my recent issues have somehow been connected with what happened with us last year. All's been well for many months now, and I've seen how the hubby tries his best to win me over...and over...and over. It's the little reminders that gets to me though. Bits and pieces of anything that would let me remember how it was during that time. What I felt, and how he must've felt. It still makes me cry thinking about it.

It was a roller coaster of emotions, what happened to me. And I can feel remnants of it until now.

Recently, I've been trying to revive an old job, my being a VA. Taking it all in, training myself through videos, ebooks, just about anything. I want to keep myself busy. If that's what it takes to make me forget.

This is my "idle season". And until things get busy again, I would want to wait patiently. I want to spend my days with worship and scripture.

1 Samuel 13:8-14

He waited seven days, the time set by Samuel; but Samuel did not come to Gilgal, and Saul's men began to scatter.  So he said, "Bring me the burnt offering and the fellowship offerings. " And Saul offered up the burnt offering.  Just as he finished making the offering, Samuel arrived, and Saul went out to greet him.  "What have you done?" asked Samuel. Saul replied, "When I saw that the men were scattering, and that you did not come at the set time, and that the Philistines were assembling at Micmash,  I thought, 'Now the Philistines will come down against me at Gilgal, and I have not sought the LORD's favor.' So I felt compelled to offer the burnt offering."  "You acted foolishly," Samuel said. "You have not kept the command the LORD your God gave you; if you had, he would have established your kingdom over Israel for all time.  But now your kingdom will not endure; the LORD has sought out a man after his own heart and appointed him leader of his people, because you have not kept the LORD's command."

I pray Lord that I will have more patience. Patience to wait for Your promises. Help me to always remember that Your Word is always constant and will never change. Thank You for Your blessings. In Jesus' mighty name. Amen. 



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Overwhelmed and anxious

Overwhelmed 

 - bury or drown beneath a huge mass

Anxious

 - experiencing worry, unease, or nervousness, typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome

These are 2 words which I definitely have been feeling the past months. Mostly, because of how the hubby and I can provide for our family. Yes, we are blessed and we have enough. We eat 3-5 (or maybe even 6!) times a day. We have enough to come to church every Sunday, and sometimes even have enough to have lunch out. So what exactly am I bugged about? Well, here's my list:

Our mountain pile of bills, all named after ME! 

Our 3 kids' future (school, needs, etc.)

Our travel plans (and date plans for hubby and I

No, I don't ask for much. And sometimes I even say, I don't want much. Why? Because I feel that I am not responsible enough for bigger things. I want to be, don't think otherwise, but I want to prepare myself before I am given much. (In the past, I feel that when I am given small or big things, I can honestly say, I have not been faithful to see it all through for what they are given for. So when that day comes that I am able to handle money and resources well, then I will definitely ask for more from Him, who is my ultimate source. 

The hubby and I recently started a small business (JuiceLuvPH), and when at first it seemed all promising, the past weeks have not been kind to us. So we're back to square one. I don't want to feel too depressed since as I have said, we are not THAT unfortunate. When I really think about it, I am still TOO BLESSED to be stressed (Yes, yes, I intended to write that). 

So what now? An opportunity knocks at our door. Another VA stint (in case you didn't know, I was a VA.. for about 8 years) that would need my nights. It's not much, won't pay much, but it may as well ease my anxiety and that feeling of being overwhelmed. It would definitely pay some of the bills and we may save up for a bit of the kids' future. Most of all, I can now be faithful to my tithing again. 

I'm also still looking for other opportunities, small ones, so I can pass it on to my freelance "partner". I've recently activated my sleeping Fiverr account for those small stints. 

I have so many ideas, that I want to pursue and accomplish. That's how this mind works. If I can only jot them down every time, I know I have that eureka moment or moments!

Amidst all the anxiety and overwhelmed-ness, here are some bible verses that may as well help me and YOU dear reader, whatever your situation is, or wherever you may be :

Matthew 6:25-34

"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes?  Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?  Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life ?  "And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin.  Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these.  If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?  So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?'  For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them.  But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.  Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Luke 12:24-34

Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds!  Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life ?  Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?  "Consider how the lilies grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you, not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these.  If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today, and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, how much more will he clothe you, O you of little faith!  And do not set your heart on what you will eat or drink; do not worry about it.  For the pagan world runs after all such things, and your Father knows that you need them.  But seek his kingdom, and these things will be given to you as well.  "Do not be afraid, little flock, for your Father has been pleased to give you the kingdom.  Sell your possessions and give to the poor. Provide purses for yourselves that will not wear out, a treasure in heaven that will not be exhausted, where no thief comes near and no moth destroys.  For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

Matthew 11:28-30

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

and this...

Luke 12:48 But the one who does not know and does things deserving punishment will be beaten with few blows. From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked.

I hope this post helped anyone, whether it may be spiritual, emotional or even just for entertainment. 

God bless you! Jesus loves you!

Day with Mommy

Yesterday was fun. My mom, lola and tita came over to visit. (Yay!) And after WEEKS of hardcore stress, I have finally had my "day-off" yesterday (I am doing the laundry while I write this, literally!) when my mom and I went to the mall, to just, you know, go around and shop and window-shop. It was a simple outing, yet a meaningful sharing of thoughts, ideas and experiences between me and my mom. Overall, the feeling was refreshing and to a point, invigorating. Thank you Mom for the time you spent with me yesterday. Needed that.

Food + Shopping + Mom = PERFECT DAY-OFF

I need HALPZZ!

The past few days have been really hard for me, household-wise. You see, I'm yaya-less once again. I don't exactly know why the yayas we get have not been as loyal as they used to be. I keep thinking if I have faults, maybe so, maybe not. But when I put myself on their shoes, I could consider myself lucky. I live in a small house, meaning lesser chores. I HELP with the chores, like laundry, general cleaning, etc. I give FREEBIES monthly, like toiletries, food, clothes, etc. So I wonder.

The household chores are not at all hard. It just takes time and patience, since my past yayas have hidden UNDONE stuff, so my work gets doubled. The thing is, my 1-year old baby girl is TOO CLINGY now. She'll start to cry when she doesn't see me by her side, that it's even hard to go to the loo.

Not sure, if its a phase (which I'm hoping it is) or there might be some underlying psychological reason? The usual stuff I do, like morning and bathtime rituals, are now extinct. I can't do stuff for myself, much more for the chores. So I'm left with a mountain-like laundry, a really dusty house, a dry garden, and undone house projects.

I wish I had help.

Help me?