Today isn't a good day. I'm noticing that the past days hasn't been either. I'm not sure if it's because its the time of the month or the fact that I have been feeling lethargic and I have all sorts of infection coming in at the same time.
Yes, I am diabetic. And I haven't checked myself for the longest time, feeling that I have been cured. Maybe I was. This is only a relapse because I've been drowning myself in sweets everytime I feel stressed, burnt out, sad, or even when I am happy.
Last night, I pushed myself to buy another glucometer kit from a generic pharmacy. I didn't want to get the fancy brands since I still lose them somehow. I've had about 4 or 5 in the past, all branded, and now non-existent. I checked myself immediately as soon as we arrived home (hubby drove me). It was more than an hour after we had dinner anyway. 'Lo and behold, the count was 326mg/dl. For those who do not understand, the normal blood sugar count should be 90-120mg/dl. So I was way up high on that chart. This made me feel depressed all the more. I got sad that I've been working my ass off, so we can make ends meet and buy stuff that we need. The only reward I give myself are :
1. Mani and pedi from Beauty and Butter
2. Eyelash extensions from Lavish Lashes
3. check out new restaurants and their bestsellers
4. Watch a movie
5. Swedish massage with hot pads and herbal pillows from Baan Kuhn Thai
And ALL, and I mean ALL of these, I am unable to do now. Why? Well, for starters, I can't do my mani-pedi since I have a really bad big toe infection. Which I think started from my last pedi and it bled and I mistakenly washed it when I got home.. or a ingrown toenail. Not sure. It sure looks bad now as my big toe seems dying.
Then my lashes.. I was enjoying the extensions since it definitely gave my eyes the definition it needs and I didn't have to worry about putting product on when we're late for something. I just take my lip stain and voila', a just-woke-up fresh look. The eyelash salon where I go to, advised me to rest my lashes for about a month so they'd have time to grow back again, as they're balding from the 'very' regular visits. Now I have to put effort in everytime I go out. Which is not really ideal for me. Else I'd go out with my bare face.
As for the restaurants, the fact that I have no more time (thanks to my job and household duties), and this relapsing diabetes thing, I don't have that freedom anymore. Same goes for watching movies and having a massage. I can't watch movies as its already school season, so the kids need our 'undivided' attention during the week days. Then a massage is out of the question of course! Unless its the weekend and we have nothing to do and we really need a stress relief.
...
Enough said.
I need some quiet time.
